In all of us, there are fault-lines, there are flaws and certainly, within all of us, there is a story to tell. Whether we choose to tell the old story or create a new one, lies very much within our own decision-making. We can either procrastinate, become ill, get depressed, mull over what has happened, be fearful of our next steps, or make steps to change our future and the future lives of everyone around us.
It is important to grieve, it is essential to make sense of what has happened, to experience the loss, abandonment, the feelings we feel. It is good for us to express ourselves to those who we feel supported by and it is essential to accept, acknowledge, recognizing the importance of time – of it being a great healer.
But, as time goes on, we have to choose to move on, valuing the lives that have left us and the lessons that they have taught us. We choose to be happy, smile and be grateful of the time spent or the reasons for people being in our lives, for ‘a season, a reason or a life-time.’ Believing that there will be a time when we can get back to normal, when all will feel very different. In these times, we learn to rely on ourselves a lot more. To honour our feelings, to choose to be content, relaxed, less traumatised by events, people’s passings, as time goes on and when we are ready, we let go of all feelings associated with the loss, the shock, the trauma, the treatment when we choose to move on. In our own time. When we are ready. Not to be rushed. At our own pace.
We either play the same old record over and over or we reach into our collection and change the record. We could choose to go deeper than that, to play a record from a new collection or even deeper, make a new record of our own – a totally different story, piece of music, where anything can happen, lives will be changed and destinies lived out, lives played out to the full.
The ones who have left us will never want us to be sad, lonely, alone, or upset for very long. They will want us to embrace life, to remember the memories, to cherish the connection, to embrace the love that was given, a life well-lived, a child well-loved. Our ancestors relish in the thought that they brought something to the table, they left behind a legacy, they had a life that brought children into the world then grandchildren and possibly great-grandchildren. They left a part of them that is irreplaceable and the life Carries on in spirit.
If you are one of the lucky ones, reading this, your deceased loved ones would have set the standard, would have given you the morals and the values you hold close to your heart. They would have loved you for you and they wouldn’t have wanted anything bad to happen to you if they could have done something to stop it, they certainly would have. They passed onto you their genes, their legacies, their opinions, their thoughts, their belief systems and if you are lucky, these were positive and served you well even if there were ups and downs.
Life is a rollercoaster. Take what you can from your past experiences, your family members, your longgone relationships and friendships. Soldier on and keep on going. Turn past the blind corner, trusting that there is something else to this life. It is worth holding on. The past is what it is. If we want a better now and a brighter future, despite all that has gone on, it requires us to change – only us. We believe in the best for ourselves and see the best in others.
We do this alone, in our own time, in our own space, in our own room, in our own solitude. In solidarity. We fight for what is right. A peaceful resolution. What defines us is how we build ourselves. What makes us is what and who we choose to surround ourselves with. We experience what we experience because we choose. We can change our thoughts. We can change our actions. We can change our lives. We can reprogram our mindsets. We can change the energies surrounding us and our lives and we can protect ourselves from any energy/vibe that undermines that higher frequency. We must do this so others are encouraged by the results, as we all change.
To programme ourselves so that we don’t keep telling the same story, relies on us to transform. Transformation. It is dependant upon us to re-programme, re-set, re-charge and change the frequency of the transmission so that we experience a life greater than we can ever imagine, one that mirrors our hopes and dreams and stays true to our hidden desires. One life that fulfills our heart-felt wishes and compliments our intentions, in line with our conscious thoughts, matching our subconscious mind, matching our neuro pathways in our brains.
Synchronization. We want for what we believe in. We want for what we believe we deserve. We change our thinking. We change our lives. We change our financial situation. We change our connections. We change our relationships. We hold sacred what we have got, we cherish that and we build on that. We are most grateful for what we have in our lives and the steps we take to move ourselves away from anything we choose not to have in our lives. All-inclusive.
It takes a lot of strength, it requires a lot of energy but when the shift happens, it takes you some-place else. A spiritual realm, a sacred place. It elevates you to a position of power, putting you in the controlling seat, sitting you at the steering wheel, putting you on that pedestal, holding you in pole position with no egotistical strain in your body so that you can give to others what you give to yourself. So that your energies are always stocked up and are not allowed to be exhumed by vampires.
We are a vessel for energy – a constant flow. It gives you the strength, the courage and brevity to be who you are, the person you have become without the threat of others dragging you down by forcing you into the black hole, the darkness, the underworld, ‘the upside down.’ Everything you are, defines who you are. The not settling for anything less, the high expectations of yourself, the belief in yourself and others will be what will shape you, expressing yourself to those around you, sharing your feelings about the way someone behaves and the way it affects you. It is not about being the best but standing apart from the rest with real concern for changing lives and situations. In truth, we trust that what we are is a reflection of who we want to be, no compromises, no limitations.
Leave people alone to lead their own lives. You are not responsible for the way they behave. You are here to be the best that you can be because you want to fine tune, align your chakras and be ready for a new life of as a supreme being because you believe in yourself. You can be another persons hero or you can be the hero yourself. There’s a fine difference and it’s all associated with ego. Do for the sake of yourselves and others. Polish the diamond that lies inside of you. Keep your light shining bright and if someone tries to dim it, shine it brighter, heighten the intensity and with all of your might, override judgement, lies, dishonesty, misunderstandings and insecurity. Upgrade.
Shift all relationships to the highest gear. Raise your opinion of yourself. Raise your opinion of others. Don’t be too focussed on the way people are making you feel. An attack is worth it so you can test your coping mechanisms. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. We are all different and that must be respected. Learn to value what others have to say and believe that they have their reasons. Make your mission: to find out. Why? People who hold opposing opinions to you, do matter but it goes both ways. Does it mean that either is right? Think about it. Leave people to make their own informed decisions based on their experience.
There is inner work for everyone to do. Chances are, others don’t even realise they are making you feel that way. It’s not a them and us. It’s healthy to live I’m a democratic society one where we can voice our own opinions. With reason, we should not be judged. Try see it from the other persons point of view and respect our differences. Give holding space for conversation and for change to happen. Listen. Lesson the burden on everyone else to be perfect. No one is perfect. Noone is the best. We are all here to fulfill our own agendas.
People will change if they want to change. Hold no expectation that they will do anything different from what they have always done and be complimentary when they do change tactics but don’t let their behaviour affect you. Set your boundaries. Raise your vibrations. Diplomatically, point the obvious out. Hold yourself protected, open, energetic, vibrant, intriguing, exciting, full of fun and playful. A joyful being is happy, content and will be better-placed in creating harmonious relationships, partnerships with like-beings, earthlings, humans, ones who have your best interests at heart.
If you change your belief, you can reprogramme your mind. You just remain strong. You have to laugh, giggle, have fun and smile as endorphins are good for your body and health. It’s fine to feel down, tired, out of sorts for a short while but to know that you need rest, sleep to renew your energies is what will benefit you the most. Knowing this, you will always find the time to recharge, reset, realign, refunnel, readdress and be ready to face another day again-tomorrow. Kind treatment and self care is needed for you to lead a balanced, joyful, relaxed, chilled life that exuberates wellness. Take time for you.
Start with the dawn, the waking of the day, a fresh new morning to wake you up from your sleep. Where the night has given you the dusk, the moon has replenished you and the sleep has restored you ready to play another day. Another game, refreshed, ‘eyes wide open’, not on repeat ‘Groundhog Day’ but a whole new day, one that will free you, set you free, eventually if you keep on evolving, reprogramming, changing, adjusting, blossoming and blooming. Start positive with a means to carry on. Yesterday has gone, it’s history. Today has been lived, it’s over. Tomorrow is a whole new ball game.
The new day. It requires you to change. One step at a time. Unlock a better day and a better day after that. Life should go smoother. Believe and focus on the positives. You got up in the morning. People are people. If you get annoyed, get upset, get frustrated by another person, distance yourself, pivot and float in another direction. Don’t let what they have said, how they have acted, ruin your day. You sometimes have got to elevate to somewhere else to navigate yourself free. Don’t take things personally. Lack of sleep and rest will feel like you are ‘jet lagged’, can cause sleep deprivation and can make you feel ‘like a bear with a sore head.’ and can prompt you to be ‘ratty’ with others. Be mindful of the implications of projection onto others. Do they really deserve that treatment? Timing is important. Have patience, give people space and wait, calmly.
You will begin to grow emotionally, to a maturer level, to re-harness your energy, to live a life full of your own choices. A much lighter being, that has let go of its past and is willing to start anew, to start again, to learn from what has gone on and to take the lessons learned. To focus, to adjust, to plainly, move on with those you choose to be with and with those who want to be with you. It is pointless holding onto anyone who has you trapped, captured, endangered – escape from this. Be honest.
Let go eventually of hurt and pain. It will only serve you, to do you no good, will store illness within your body, that will remain within and you will become sick. The less you burden, the less you carry, the more freer you will feel and the more positive you will be. Reset every day. Change your feelings to reprogramme your mindset. Focus on the sensation. Focus on the emotion. Focus on the energy. Every feeling has an association. Every action has a counter action. For every action, there is a repercussion
Circle yourself with this gratitude, abundance, love and have a calm, approachable, relaxed persona, one that attracts the same and repels the opposite. A circle of protection and light will surround your being. Value your worth. You are worth your weight in gold. So is everyone else you hold dear. Honour them. Get to know them. Centre you focus off your own lives to make them feel valued. Have that same belief for all those close that hold you in the same light. That way, a circle of guard, a bubble in which you can place yourself into can be placed around you. Appreciate all lives.
Value your self. Self-first is the greatest lesson learned with an unselfish approach. To look after oneself, to put oneself first, to honour oneself puts you in a better position to care for others, to be there for others and to look after others. It puts you in a prime state. Take care of own-self and watch how others take care of themselves following your lead. You don’t even need to tell them, just be the role model. People will look upon you and look up to you, levelling out and balancing out, as you look up to them.
They are mirroring your good intentions and behaviour. Show them you care. Tell them you will always be there. Be the shoulder to cry on, be the ear that listens, be that one that cares and loves but only at the same time as doing this for yourself. Dependency is deliberating and disabling, it can lead to reliance, inability when you don’t enable others to do things for themselves. It can be time-consuming, exhuming and exhausting if you don’t encourage others to do things for themselves if they are able to.
Giving them suggestions, pointers along the way, believing in them that they will complete and execute. Having faith in their wholeness and being is paramount to conducting good relationships. Total reliance on other people when they can do things for themselves is soul-destroying and promotes laziness, discouragement and can add to someone’s denial in their ability to actually do something for themselves, acting independently to complete a task that they are capable of doing. In the process, flexing the neurons in the brain, encouraging independence and independent living.
Every life matters. Every mind matters and if people take you for granted, expecting you to do everything for them when they have the functionality to do things for themselves, this may eventually lead to a rupture, argument, exhaustion with the person doing everything, being a martyr. It is perfectly fine to say no. Encourage others to do the work they need to do to expand their minds. To do something for someone who can actually do it themselves is insulting intelligence. Support liberation. Support independence. Codependency is a state of living where someone relies on someone else even though they are perfectly capable of doing things themselves. They are choosing not to be active in their lives, not fending for themselves and in return, not giving all that they give got, consequently destroying lives and families. ‘If you want something doing, do it yourself.’ Often eases the strain.
When reliance on someone else becomes a lesser need, we can lead better lives, separate from each other and live together as one. A wholesome person will appreciate everything about another person and will not expect them to do things for them. If a balance is created then dual support in a relationship can occur where the one does something for the other and the other does something in return but not essential, reciprocated responses, reflecting their inner love, mutual respect, gratitude, trust for each other onto each other.
Then we can focus on caring for the cared for – the ones who need our essential care, their life depends on it because of the limited capabilities they have but even the lame can do everything if they choose, with their mind, requiring determination, belief, dedication and a mantra, ‘I can do this.’ Personal care sometimes has to be given by others. That is granted because there is a need but never insult intelligence – let them do as much as they feel they can do, encourage that and when they ask for your help then, recognise the difference between incapable – not being able to do and being able – having the ability to do.
Believe, trust and be confident in yourself as well as others. Believe they can do it with the belief that they will do it because they have the desire to, the will, the strength, the belief, the ability to reach beyond what others think or make of them. Encourage, motivate, inspire, show others what can be done. Out of nothing can come everything. It starts with a spark, an idea, a dream, a goal, a belief. Rise above denial as the truth and key to who you are.
Value your own potential and your capabilities, seeing that in others too. See this as a way we can grow with no limitations – no limits. Obstacles can be avoided. Barriers can be lifted. We find a way. ‘Where there is a will, there is a way.’ The only limitation is ourselves.
With belief in ourselves and others we can nurture each other. We can find the hidden gems, the purposes in life, the destinies that lie within us, the diamonds that shine. We are not limitations of our own thinking. We are products of our own thinking.
It is important that we learn from our mistakes, the lessons we are given. It is not a given right, for any one of us to hurt anyone else. We may get angry, we may discipline but only for the sake of another person’s mind, personality, behavioural growth, to instil manners and sustain mind growth. If it’s going to make a difference, then do it. If it’s going to shape your future then go for it. Be mindful of others around you. They may not be going in the same direction that you are going. They may support you. They may not. They may be jealous of you. They may hate you for it. Learn to love thy enemies. They may want what you’re going for.
Just stand back. Keep going and don’t let anyone stop you. As long as we do everything with love, we may have to carry on this journey alone, on our own for now until such a time when others may join your path but remember this: You are never alone. Right beside you is your future self and you will greet them one day when you have completed your challenges, accepted your opportunities that lie ahead. They are staring you right in the face. Look at yourself in the mirror. This is you. Flex your muscles, your brain deserves ignition, the pathways are lighting up a new life for you, one that you can design, shape, form, create.
The blank canvas is facing you. Paint the vibrant picture you deserve, the one that mirrors your why, the reason behind everything you do. The facet, pivot is you. You need to be in control. You always have me. We have each other. If we ignite the spark in our hearts, we will succeed, grow, ‘fly the nest’, ‘reach for the stars’ ‘climb that mountain’ ‘reach that impossible dream.’ ‘Nothing is impossible.’ ‘Go for Gold’ in amongst all the leaders of the world. Nothing is impossible. Everything is doable. We just have to make the decision to say ‘yes’ and ‘go for it’ ‘Go get our dreams-just do.’ Assisting those around us with the ‘green light’, ‘the go ahead.’ Discovering who we are.
Hold the brush, Choose the colours. Paint the picture of your life worth living. One that is better than your wildest dreams, more magical than your bestest memory. Choose to disassociate yourself from the nonbelievers in your dream, community and society. If you keep in going, they will see what you mean. Acceptance. It is your dream after all. Not theirs. Even though they may have similar visions, who are they to stop you. Construct it. Be the builder of your own ark. By surprise, they may join you. Take on the leading role, be the director of your own life. You don’t have to be the best. Be the minority in amongst the majority. Value your given gifts, take with you your experience.
Your life source is what is most sacred to your life – your live, living energy field – your given force. That force is love. Each breath you take is love. Each move you make is love. Each action you do is love. ‘Every breath you take, I’ll be watching you.’ You learn to love your life and if there is something you don’t like about your life then you do something about it. Act. Do. Change it. Take action. Execute. Conclude. Finish. Tolerate no more unwanted, bad behaviour, disrespectful, dishonouring words or actions.
Walk away if that is what you have to do. Just do it. Take with you what is most important, any dependents, keepsakes, furniture that’s yours and memorable items. Anyone who needs you, needs to stay with you. Feel the force from within. ‘Go for it.’ Your strength will multiply as you continue your journey toward your triumphant finale – upto, onto and beyond the finish line. Ready to start a clean slate. Only you can do this. Stand up for who you are. Your departure to a new destination is doable, is reachable and you will do it.
You just have to leave it all behind for a new life, one which you can craft yourself. You can draw, you can paint, you can sculpture. No delays. ‘The time is now. No time like the present.’ You have to eventually do this for yourself. It is dutiable to stay, to ‘do the right thing’ but what is right, when it feels so wrong? You have to think of you peace of mind your own sanity. Your children will thank you for it. They want to see a happier you, they want to see it all come onto fruition.
You know where you need to be. You know that there is a better life waiting for you. This is no way a selfish move as you have to do what makes you happy in the end. We come into this life alone and we go out of this life alone. We can’t take anything with us, we have to leave it all behind so we might as well make the most of every opportunity that is given, give it our best shot, be the leader of our land and lead our colony, our tribe to greater deeds – serve.
Rise above abuse, jealousy, negativity, all that destroys you. Keeping a journal, all about your journey, your escapism is what is going to keep you going, keeping you focussed on your destination, guiding you from all that you no longer want and pushing you into all that you want in life. Follow your dreams. When you get a chance to look back, when you reach your ‘safe haven’, your ‘calmer shores’, the story you have run from will create the story that you are running to.
This is your future life, your future self – safe in your hands. You are guiding you. The writing is private to the individual making the transition, a record of the transformational time – the reasons, the questioning, the doubts and the beliefs. A saviour to others wanting to do the same, when your journey is over and your life has begun again, spawned into an ideal life, an ideal person with ideal friends, partnership, business sense and connections. Others can learn from you. You can learn from others. You can support them in their growth and inspire others to do the same. We shred each layer, we shed each skin and every new day, is a time/our chance to begin again. We have everything to live for. Goals that were set are going to be met. Manifestations of a desire for a better life. Expectations met and all dreams fulfilled.
Give yourself reassuring statements – motivational quotes and sayings. Read as many life changing, life enhancing, motivational books as you can and/or listen to audios. Reach out to leaders, motivational speakers, councillors, psychotherapists. Delve into yourself. What are your needs? What is your projection? What you project onto others is a true reflection of yourself so how you feel, matters. So how you behave, matters. So how you deal with and accept things, matters. It all matters.
Create the positivity surrounding you that gives the best of you. Settle for only the best treatment. Hold everyone in your direct circle in the same light. A trusted circle. Appreciate who they are. We are all different. Be grateful for what they give. Their internal conquests are different to yours. They may remain on your path. They may be on a completely different path. Who knows? We have to take that chance, dive right in. Somersault off the diving board, swim in deeper seas and face the demons in our heads. Be careful, cautious but show now fear. You may do this together. you may do this alone. Never leave a day done without saying ‘I Love You’ and match your words with your actions. Never sleep on an argument. Apologise and begin again and again and again. Set the standards. Set the boundaries. We have to verbalise how we feel to others and for others to find their voice, their comeback, their reason to sing or speak.
Give yourself love. Always love. Be forgiving of your mistakes as mistakes, we learn from, we grow from, we learn to adapt towards a more peaceful and loving state when words are said and respect is given. Always talk, be open with your feelings. To share how you feel, instigates understanding and creates a special bond with those around us including our ‘special ones’. We are all special and uniquely different. Our differability makes us who we are. This is where we get to know each other better.
To truly understand someone is a reflection of our own ability to be accepting of ourselves and others and having no expectation. To give people space and time as a given right and to not be narcissistic, controlling, threatening, demanding or forceful is what we need to be like in this world. To recognise ourselves as givers, as takers, where toxicity lies within every single one of us unless we change, we let go and we cleanse our minds of any intrusion, any suffering, any hardship, any traitors, any trespassers. ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ ‘Thy kingdom come. Thy will, will be done. On Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread. Those who trespass against us.’
Learning to not be these things is hard as often the person has no idea they are being that way. To distance ourselves separates our souls and the ones who were meant to be with us will always find a way to be with us, to find a way back, to intertwine our souls forever. To find these beings, we have to learn to be ourselves as only we can be. We have to find our confidence that lies within us and we have to learn to be free, uncontrolled and liberated. We are lucky to be able to be granted the right to free expression. Never give false hope. ‘Lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil, for thy is the kingdom, the power and the glory. Forever and ever. Amen. A simple prayer/mantra anytime of day will keep us positive and hopeful throughout every day, always true.
GIve yourself the answers to the truth you are seeking. Often, we already know the lies people tell us, the ‘wool they pull over our eyes, ‘the wolves in sheep’s clothing’, the ones who are not being true, those who are faking it, just to keep you in their lives or con, scam you. Be real. It’s common sense. It’s simple. Approval. To keep you addicted, hooked, feeling the way you feel, attached. Their motive. Detach yourself, unhook yourself. Don’t be the fool or victim. Have respect and value for your self. You wre deserving of the optimal treatment.
Distractions are no good for you. Those who let you down, mess you around, lead you on, play games with you, they are not worth your time. If they are true and they are the ones (s) for you, they will come to you. You don’t need to do the chasing. Be happy in your own skin. They have their learning to do too. So do you. Unless we become independent from our dependents, we are not doing ourselves justice. Honour yourself. Give yourself permission to be free.
If someone hurts us, they are hurting themselves. Write it down. They are not thinking of your feelings. They are only feeding their weakness. Their tendency is to disassociate themselves from the pain they are feeling. They expect you to shoulder their pain, to carry their weight, to take their burden without doing any work themselves to remove this unhealthy traits. If they are genuinely seeking your friendship, a relationship, they will never direct their problems, their pain, their hurt at you. They will deal with it themselves and so will you. It may take some time. Such is life. It’s healthy to leave others alone to unpick faults in their past. To learn to let go, to remove so it doesn’t form part of their ‘makeup.’
You will be aware that each other is there but you will deal with your ‘mess’ yourself and turn it into ‘a message.’ Heal yourself, heal your mind, heal your life, heal your wounds. Be mindful of how others are feeling. They may not be feeling the same as you. They have to be ready to seek refuge in you to share their feelings with you and a person will keep their anger away from you if they love you and will redirect their pain, acknowledging it as theirs.
Where it all goes wrong is when others direct their pain, insecurities, hurt directly onto others, often close to them. This becomes toxic very quickly. A real, genuine, honest, wholesome person will keep this away from you. We all have to do our own inner work and it is unfair to direct toxicity, whether from a previous relationship, experience or present moment onto another person. Just be there. Comfort and care.
Feel from the gut. Ask for answers. You know what you are feeling inside and pen to paper is the best method I feel to explore those feelings. It takes pressure off, it eases pain, it eases troubled minds, it provides a gateway for change to happen. It can be kept, it can be burnt, it can be shown, it can be shared. It can be looked back on and it can be used to pivot ourselves and our lives to a better destination.
Know that feeling of certainty, knowing for sure that you are safe now. You have reached calmer seas, you are navigating bigger oceans. Give your body rest. Give yourself time out. Sleep will restore you. Exercise will invigorate you. There is nothing better than working for yourself and doing what you love. Choosing the people you work with, those you go out with and holding your values, beliefs, morals close to your chest, refusing to change what you have become. There will always be slight adjustments. We are always learning. We are constantly evolving.
We need to aspire to those who have trod this path before, our ancestors and life-savers, evolutionists, philanthropists, environmentalists, scientists, philosophers and developers. A life well lived is a life well spent. To leave a legacy for those who live their lives after we have departed this world is truly remarkable. It is worth remembering that our fathers and forefathers, mothers and foremothers have something to say and something to give. Their lives were never easy. They did the best they could with the resources they had. They made the best of what they’d got. They were resourceful. They knew no other way and some were lucky enough to be noticed.
Some died a death and were never known but to their families, they left an imprint on their hearts. The same goes for pets. Their purpose is to be in our lives to give us unconditional love and true companionship. We are responsible for our behaviour. We make our choices as we go. We decide our destinies even when fate steps in the way.
When we are given an incredible blow, when our life takes an unexpected turn, when it tumbles into crisis, it is our choice how we deal with it. If we pause for a second and think about it. Noone is born into a life that is perfect. There is always going to be something that will fire up, be planted on our paths, in the form of obstacles or barriers. We can still choose to avoid. We do have a choice in most of what shows up.
We have to be strong to overcome all of the absurdity life throws at us sometimes and we can wait a lifetime for everything to go our way, some never reaching their ideal in their life-time. To be cautious and careful is the key to unlock those next levels. Push yourself to the next level – beyond limits. To be mindful of every step you take is to be noted. No-one knows what lies ahead on our paths next but from my experience, a positive mindset, belief and certainty never fails. There can be a lot of trauma which is unavoidable but if we think about it, some of it is avoidable if only we knew. Be prepared. Be alert and stay central to everything. Allow no control and be sensible and safe.You doing what you love will please you, make you happy and give your life a purpose and ‘if life throws you lemons, you make lemonade.’ You tackle what lies ahead with confidence, with an open mind and a rescued ability to master all that you do have, starting there and building on that. Completely unhindered, unattached and no blind fold – unlocked.
Surround yourself with those on the same path as you, those who have already walked the same path as you or those who are about to embark on the same path as you. Be the rhino. Charge. Transformation. Follow them and be followed. We are all in this together. Create a ‘circle of light’ (Sonia Ricotti’s facebook group) Be a part of trusted, inspiring individuals, surrounding yourself with feelings that make you happy. Circle yourself with pure, positive energy. Revisit steps you took before, decisions you made before, places you lived before. Take trips down memory lane, look at photos from the past – they are your memories, not all were bad. Revisit your childhood, connect with your school friends, the ones who made you feel good about yourself and the ones you had fun with. The ones who you felt comfortable with, in their company, the ones who you used to go out with, in your youth. Revisit all of those relationships. ‘The good, the bad and the ugly.’ Treasure those you still hold dear. Make it clear.
Now, lower your expectations of people, not in a bad way. Just so that you can focus on yourself, how you wish to change. Try not to focus your energy on how you want them to change. Sometimes, ‘a leopard never changes their spots’ That way you have no expectation of any delivery of false hope. You will avoid being let down, hurt, which will cause dis-empowerment, bewilderment, confusion, this way. Any addition to your life without expectation will be an added bonus, a surprise, a welcome gift, presence and they will be there because they want to be there, in their own time, when they are ready. Holding faith in deliverance can also cause worry, concern, anxiety, hurt as what you concoct in your own head may not be what someone else is concocting in theirs. It may not be the right time for them. Believe there is a given time for everything. It is fine to have a dream, an ideal life that includes an ideal partner, parents, children and friends but have no expectation of how this will come about, what level of commitment you will get or when this will happen. It is all down to synchronization.
The focus should not be on when this will happen, neither on how this will happen. Your why should be clear. You need to be happy and that happiness lies within you. You need to love and that love lies within you. Only then can you truly become one with someone you have grown to love, that has not been forced, a natural connection, written in the stars. The truth lies in the ability to live in the now not in the hope for the future. If we put too much emphasis on that, we miss what needs to happen now. It may not have happened, your ideal situation, yet but it will happen sometime. Focus on the now for now and trust in the process. Where inner work needs to be done, space needs to be given and a loving heart will say. ‘I’m not going anywhere. Take your time. I am your friend. I can be whatever you want me to be. I have faith that there is a plan and that plan will be executed when everyone is ready. I will hold no expectation of any outcome and when a solution arrives, I will be grateful of the decision made, whatever it may be. I am not going to worry, procrastinate, enforce my dreams upon you. If this is real love, I can wait and I can navigate my life alone, for now.
After all that is said and done, if I’m your one and only, true one, then you will come back to me only when you are ready. I have no hold on you. I respect you greatly. I honor the path that you are on. I honor the path that I am on. If our paths entwine, it will be what my heart desires. I grant you peace, happiness and calmness to enter your life so you can be free of the noise to make a decision. I free myself from any wreckage that may be impeding your decision, delaying your responses and spoiling your commitment and I surround all of us in this energetic light, full of positive energy, to see the way clear, however it may be, knowing it will be, however it takes shape/form – my mantra. ‘What will be will be. Que Sera Sera’ My decision has been made. I focus on bettering myself so I can be in the best form to greet those who come my way, including you. There is no control over what the future holds. I sit with holding space for whatever the answer will be and I will be happy that I made your acquaintance.’ We must support others in making the choices that make them feel comfortable, not what’s best for us and if the outcome mirrors our desires and dreams then that is a bonus. Our manifested dreams have come true and we are the luckiest people alive. We live in the now for the future. Our lives are like a rich tapestry that is woven together with every stitch carefully sewn and every inch expertly done.
Take away from the past, what you discovered, learned in it, from it, glancing through like flicking the pages of a book. When it’s time to turn the page, you will know for sure that you are ready now to tackle what lies ahead. Show no fear. Enter this new life, completely ridden of any trauma, hurt, pain as it slowly dissolves and disperses out of your body. For you to begin again. Give yourself time. Letting go is not easy. You will feel exhausted. You will need much rest and sleep as your body and mind recovers. Focus on the good times. Remember, they were a seed planted by you, in you. They were dreams that became creation, whether they ended sourly, bitterly or not, you chose to live the life you were leading. Sometimes, we have no choice but to move on, leaving behind what was often good in pursuit of happiness – to find yourself. The ‘you’ that was slowly fading away, becoming less of the person you were. That stifled, choking, suffocating feeling of not being able to be truly yourself, to understanding that there was learning to do. Acknowledge those feelings, of how you used to be, of the experiences you had, the place you stayed, the people you met, the moments you erased. They were meant to be no matter how hard it is to accept this. Those experiences are what made you into the person you are today, what leads you to the partners you have, the children you give birth to, the friendships you have, the work you do, the businesses you help, the people you serve. Every person you meet is meant to be there. They are connected to you. They are there to test you, to challenge you, to trial you. We’ve gone full circle. It’s time to tune to a different frequency, dance to a distant beat of a drum. You choose how to react and how to play your role, to be grateful for every gift, lesson, passing comment said, lesson learnt. You will win – success is just around the corner. Quicken up the pace of a life well lived and a life has just started. A new life has begun: Live it. Love it.
To be scorned is not an option. Neither is to feel guilt or shame. You were never really to blame. You have to lift yourself up out of the wreckage and start again. These are the memories that are compacted in your mind. Even the lodged, locked ones, need to be dislodged. Choose to unlock. Deal with blocks, accept weaknesses. Put closure on all avenues that didn’t go your way, where your hopes, dreams and expectations were dashed. Choose to forget these and try to look at it in a positive way. Had you not chosen to move on, you wouldn’t be in the position or place where you are today, with the people you have met and the life that you are living. It’s now not the life you are about to lead. It is the life. You are the life. The show has begun. Position yourself centre of the stage. Direct your own movie. Be the lead starring role. It was all meant to be. There is no holding you back. Live the life you wanted to live without constraints or regrets. Choose to tell your story if only to help others because for yourself, you have to let go of your story. As if it was someone else’s life, not yours. Disassociate yourself from having lived it. The ones who are meant to be there, will be there. People will join you, will rediscover you and discover you. Start your new life, your new story from the moment you found happiness, truth and good, healthy relationships. What you have now is what you wanted. You had aspirations for something better. You have built this life, you have had it your own way even if it has taken a long time, a life-time it feels, experienced a lot of heartache, toll, sacrifices, omissions, blocks, deletions. Raise the bar. People who you have allowed to hurt you in the past, those who have upset you or caused you pain – forgive them and let them go. They have gone now. Be the orchestra of your own life, play the music loud and clear. The lights are on you. Lead the way. Be you. The only you. Take the leash off. Become free to walk these lands with boundless energy, synergy.
The inner work – the letting go, the forgiveness, the strength it takes to finally unveil yourself. Lift the shroud. This is the hardest part. ‘All is forgiven.’ No matter what. ‘And then, forgot.’ To be free. The noose around our necks has loosened, the rope around our bodies has fallen and we have learned. To be liberated. To be unburdened. To love and be loved back in return. Unplugging ourselves from anything negative and what we know to be wrong. There is a brand new life ahead of you, there is hope guiding you through. There is faith and abundance, ‘A pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.’ ‘Every cloud has a silver lining’ There is a blank, fresh, empty page in front of you, to write your story how you wish. To make your own ending, a new beginning. You choose who you let in. You choose which avenue to take. You choose which opportunity you want to fulfill. You choose which dream you want to follow and maybe, all your dreams will come true. The perfect environment is surrounding you and maybe after all is said and done. If the past was to be re-written, you wouldn’t have it any other way but you would hold onto the loved ones you lost along the way. You would make decisions that were right for you and you’d have enough conviction to see it through. Though, having to lose who we loved taught us to appreciate life in a different way and to be grateful of what we have now as time is precious, it can so easily be wasted. To realize, no matter what, we must love the ones we hold for the moments they are here with us in this life, until they are gone. Nothing lasts forever. A beating heart gives, a lasting smile lingers and it doesn’t hurt us to be kind, considerate, and appreciative of what is given our gifts.
Write down your ideal life, a dream board. Your dreams you had, the hope you had, your expectation of a worthier, more deserving life – a better life for you and those who surround you are still alive, they lie deep within you ready for the right time, the right environment. Embedded in your heart is the state of peace, love, joy and gratitude. Inside of you. All the letdowns erased. It’s what built you. It’s what made you. ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ Man alone cannot climb the mountain on his own. He needs a team around him but he needs the vision he creates for others to see. Yourself is loved. Yourself is forgiven. Yourself is set free. You did the best that you could do. You muddled through but now with clarity and conviction, you will put everything right. You are the best that you can be. Yourself is free. Yourself is happy and content. Who created, shaped, formed, molded, defined you are the hands that made you. We had to go full circle for life to be appreciated once again, for old fashioned values to be re-born. Forgive them. They didn’t mean to hurt you. They did the best that they could, to the best of their knowledge, from the experiences that they had, from the wounds that they bore, from the trauma that was buried. They ‘buried it all underneath the carpet’ They took the best from their knowledge and experience to guide you and if they left you, abandoned you, gave up on you then they were giving up on themselves. They didn’t know a way and they were leaving it up to you to find one. They were losing all hope. They had run out of the words to say to you. That is because, you were meant to go your own way, you were meant to lead your own life, you were meant to be where you are now, in your life. To help and to serve others, to learn from people’s stories and the lives they have lead.
The clipping of your wings was done through fear and limitation. ‘A caged bird unable to fly.’ Let go of frustration, let go of anger, let go of stress, let go of anxiety. Let all ill-feelings be gone. Let no bitter, angry force drive you. Forgiveness. May your path be nothing but light and where there is a challenge, see it as a stepping stone to a brighter future. A new path that lights the way. Love is not a punishment if you first, love thyself. Love unconditionally. The past has gone now. Be able to see everyone in a pure, white light energy. Conscious mind, change the outlook on life and people. Inner peace. Transformation. Transition. To live a life of your choosing – follow your dreams. Believe in yourself and go on a voyage of your own where you are the captain of your own ship, supported by those who believe in you, those who have your back, your best interests at heart. You have a choice. You can sink, drown or you can swim. Like energy attracts like energy. This is the law of attraction. Manifest your life. Write it all down. Wait for the ‘dust to settle.’ Be the ‘creator of your own destiny.’ Share your hopes and dreams. There will be those who believe in you but most of all – believe in yourself. Change your vibration, gravitational, elevation energy. – a high vibration level. Acknowledge all that you have been through. Acknowledge who you are. Time has slowed down to give you chances, to change. Real love will never hurt you, will keep pain from you and will be there for you if only to help you appreciate yourself, love yourself, be true to yourself. Love what you do. Release your dreams.
Accept that these experiences were there in the past to challenge, test, hurt, change, mold, and make you into the person you are today – unbreakable, unstoppable, ‘unsinkable.’ Be thankful, be grateful, be you, the wholesome you, the new you, the confident you. Looking back, those are the hands that shaped you then tried to break you, tested you, challenged you, molded you, trialed you, tested you, shouted at you, abused you, hurt you, caused you unnecessary pain but from the pain, you grew. They taught you lessons but that is all. It is now over. To look at it another way, they taught you how to be strong, to stick up for yourself, to stand up be counted, to toughen up, to become wiser to the world. You chose to not associate yourself with them much, to distance yourself, to keep away, to avoid, to block, to rise above. You shifted into a positive space, to control your thoughts, to elevate yourself to ‘higher ground.’ You have survived. You are a survivor. ‘I will survive.’ Reprogram your conscious mind. The next chapter is here. The life you are about to lead is completely in your hands. You are steering your own ship. You are in total control of your life. You are in the driving seat. You are in pole position. There is no competition. ‘The Tortoise will beat the hare and win the race.’ You are in charge of your belief system – subconscious mind. Now, improve areas of your life that need improving. Focus your energy on what you can change. Concentrate on your health, wealth, relationships and finances. Look at the way you view life, the way you react to triggers – accept to learn from the flashbacks, the memories, good and bad, adapt to managing your emotions, your mind health, and the way you deal with life and its ups and downs. ‘Grant me the serenity to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.’
This is not a secret. It is meant to be shared. Truth. Be independent, self-sufficient, confident, and be in love with life itself. All else will follow.
‘It is better to have loved than to never have been loved at all. Above all. Love thyself. It starts with love – our one universal force.’
Check out my book – read more about my life. What made me into the person I am today – a woman of a wholesome mind – my autobiography
Written by Jemma Stone
Author, Singer, Songwriter, Coach, and Mentor, Teacher.
+447400 076 664
Written upon request by:
Blogger at prosynchronization.in
Inspired by ‘Unsinkable’, the secret to bouncing back – a film by Sonia Ricotti
An introduction to my book. From Ground Zero: From Corporate to the Valley of Dreams – A Life Lived
With influences, ideas and beliefs are taken from my books ‘Living in a bubble'( Autobiography) and ‘Lost and Found: Near or Far’ (Fiction)